Laughing Until I Cry

The bookend sisters and me.

Most of my blogging is about my experiences as the mother of Nani. But Nani has 2 bookend sisters that don’t get their fair share of press time. I’m pretty sure they are just fine with that, grateful in fact. But it’s almost Mother’s Day so I think they will indulge me.

I’d offer to let them write a guest blog, but I’m not crazy and have always preferred to remember things my way. Their memories are sometimes unreliable. Why on occasion they have forgotten what an absolutely perfect mother I am!

(The reality? They may have amnesia because they are incredibly generous to me in their remembering.)

But back to these sisters, one born before Nani and one after. Two sisters gifted by God to bless me immeasurably. The first one so compliant,  so “go with the flow” that she built my confidence as a mother, the other so non-compliant (as a pre-schooler) that she built my reliance on God, and gave me a dose of much-needed humility at the same time.

Tash was the perfect salve for my broken heart, a child so easy to make happy when doing so for Nani was beyond my reach. A child whose development could simply be enjoyed without the need for heroic measures. She was an oasis.

Meghan, 4 1/2 years later, the perfect distraction for the pity party I was hosting as it became clear that the projectory of Nani’s development would not be significantly changed, regardless of what we did. Here was a little spitfire who demanded I put my focus back on life. Meghan embraced life as much as Nani avoided it.

Two sisters designed to be the perfect sisters for Nani.

If you think compliant means being a push over, then you never saw Tash get between Nani and someone who was staring harshly or being otherwise unkind. Hell hath no fury as when a sister was being scorned.

Meghan may have been strong-willed but she was not-self centered.  One of her first phrases was “Nani one” which meant she was going to need 2 of whatever she was requesting, followed by “here go Nani” when she delivered the goods, and later “ju happy, Nani, ju happy?”

Both loving and looking out for Nani in their own way.

Two sisters who today are loving and looking out for the people they serve; one an ICU  nurse, the other an inclusion teacher. Two women who don’t turn away from the pain in the lives of the ones entrusted to them.  They are fully invested, willing to advocate. It is not without cost, tears are shed, sleep is lost.

Is it hard for me to watch sometimes?  Yes.

Could I be any prouder? No.